Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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