It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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