Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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