If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Panties = found
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
