Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
