I didn't shave. On purpose
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
