I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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