My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
