Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
