Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
