I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
