so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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