I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Randomize
