Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
