My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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