is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
