She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
His hands were made for my vagina.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
