I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
