Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
