I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize