i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize