We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
