sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
