So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
