Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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