I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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