Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
