She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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