If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
