Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
