I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
