You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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