I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
so much tequila, so little girl.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
