This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
