Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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