Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
