You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
