I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How external is "for external use only"?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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