I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
