Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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