I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She bit a glass in half.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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