Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize