I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
