What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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