just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
