respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
