Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
