Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
