I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
