I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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