So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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