I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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