woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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