Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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