you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
