I am spending my child support on dildos
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
