He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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