They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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