i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
