well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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