my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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