margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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